用心去爱吧。

I remember last Saturday, I was praying and really looking for an answer, from God. I was telling Him, God, what if wht if what if...is he the one is he the one is he the one?...all these questions keep popping out from me. I guess the real reason why I do not want to get involve in a relationship, is the fear of heart ache, heart broken again. Till now, i can clearly remmeber, how heartache feels. 感觉还是那么的真实，还是那么的清楚，那痛，历历在目。

天还未亮，我就穿起了跑步鞋。哦，原来我忘了带袜子，我想。袜子罢了。。不能阻扰我去健身，流汗！！冲啊。。结果阿，跑了两个小时。感觉超棒哦！汗流浃背。把鞋子脱了。。天啊！！Blister!!有血的脓阿。。很痛。痛得我整个晚上都难以入睡。

睡不着，干什么好呢？当然是和天父对话。我说啊。。神阿，你听到吗？我很怕，真的害怕会再有那心痛的感觉。到了现在，心是好了，不再痛了，但。。我真的很害怕。然后。。神回答了我说。。

““你脚很痛吧。但是，因为脚的功能是要来走路的，就算是痛，长了血瘤，还在恢复的当中，你也得走啊。。一拐一拐得走。。那血瘤会恢复的，会有疤痕。但是，当你走路时，你会忘了你以前有过那桶，那伤痕，，因为你脚痊愈了。。

就像你的心一样。我创造了你时，给了你一颗心。是要让你好好的去爱，也去感受爱。没了爱，心就会失去了它原来的功能了。以前的事，过去了。勇敢一点吧。反正，这男孩阿。。很爱你的。别害怕。勇敢的去爱吧。。用心去爱。”

就是因为天父的答案。。我心得到了平安。好吧！！勇敢的去爱吧！！

祷告项目

才读了大概5页就必须停下来了。里头写的都是心里的烦恼，须更改，须改进，修补的。

很喜欢这篇：

"Times will come in life when you realise you've made a mistake. At that moment, you have two choices:you can swallow your pride and "pull a few nails," or you can foolishly continue your course, hoping the problem will go away. Most of the time the problem will only get worse. When you realise you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is tear down the wall and start over."  

摘于I Kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris

其实以前就是没有采取行动， 所以白白的浪费了这么多年的青春，光阴。以前真的很笨。也许应该说是没有勇气吧。没关系，神是好的，一切不好的也都过去了。现在的我，在展望将来，对前途非常的期待。有了神在生命了，我不再害怕了。

好吧。好好的列下我的祷告项目：

1。让自己衷心悔改，了解自己的想法和态度。好好的反省自己的错处。

"The bible uses the word repent to describe turning from what's wrong and pursuing whats right. repentance is a change of direction based on change of heart. "

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death" 1 Corinthians 7:10

"...cultivate genuine, godly sorrow, and ask God to forgive then reverse (my ) sinful course."

2.Refocus my relationship with people around me. 对于身边朋友的态度需细心观察，不想影响朋友对自己的误解。有让朋友对自己会错意吗？什么最重要？纯洁，踏实，互相勉励的友情。

3。向神祷告，让生命里有位导师。Mentor.需要一个导师来给我神圣的劝告，指导和支持。

4。对于朋友和外来因素需要密切留意。

有一阵子，不敢看浪漫的电影或戏，因为怕自己会伤心。（那时刚分手）。现在也不想看，因为有时觉得道德很沦亡。才没认识多久就亲吻，上床。嗨，很要不得。

“Keep an eye on your influences. Who and what you listen to, read, and watch will either encourage or conflict with your commitment to pursue God's best in relationships"

"...she commented 'why doesn't that happen to me? commented on how dissatisfied she felt after watching romantic movies."

"does anything in your life cause that kind of discontentment?

soap operas? bcaz they encourage ungodly longings within you?

songs? because they mock your beliefs about purity?

music? they exalt a false definition of love?

whatever tempts you towards discontentment or compromise, don't put up with it. Tune it out. tune it off. 

..spending less time with certain people or choosing to spend time with them in different settings. Pray for those fiends and love them, but honestly assess their influence on you. And ask God to bring people into your life who will provide support for your standards and beliefs."

摘于I kissed dating goodbye b Joshua Harris

好啦。是时候去和上帝聊聊天了。再会。

今天的纽约很美。感谢神。

Beauty and the beast

I was browsing through the TV channels just now, hoping to find one really boring show, watched it and sleep. flip, flip flip, then, ta da. Beauty and the beast. it was one of my favourite cartoon when i was really young. but then today when i watch it, it is the same cartoon, but it feels altogether different. at least my heart feels different. 

to love someone, you have to look into a person's heart. it is like how belle have fall in love with the beast in the end. she said, "He may look vicious, but he have a kind heart, he is my friend."..can you remember? long long time ago, cartoons that we watched when we were growing up already told us that, do not judge a book by its cover, even that person dressed well and look super charming, but he have an evil heart, he is not your prince charming!! how about this girl, who is so beautiful, do you love her for who she really is? or her outward beauty? her appearance?

"love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end, understanding will reach its limit..." 1 Corinthians 13:9 like Wat the bible says, "if I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but do not love, I am nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate" 1Corinthians 13:1, beauty fades, time will pass and in the end, what is left? your true self, your character, your personality, who you are matters and will withstand the testing of times. 

i haven't have a chance to watch the whole cartoon today, just the last part of it. but it is enough. it speaks volume. i guess, long long time ago, people already know that looks will fade away. good looks might be just a skin that you wear, everyone have this skin, but what matters most, is what is inside. your heart, your character, your personality. 

actually, i do wonder, why in all those Disney cartoons, like the frog and the prince, beauty and the beast, why issit that the main character is the girl. and it is the male character that who is trying to win the girls heart? maybe issit in real life, girls are actually really tempted by good looks? status? stuff? materials? girls are just so visual, they judge according to what they see...honestly, i guess it is true. but all these cartoons are really good, to warn the girls, you know. hey girl, what you are seeing in front of you rite now is not everything, if you wan a prince, you need to kiss the frog, you need to give your heart. ha!! Is God trying to speak to me again?..ha!!

come to think of it, i have a lot of suitors, all are just attracted by my outward appearance. after knowing me for 30mins, then they realise they are in love with me? ha!! all total crap. i really wonder, when will i find someone who will really love me for who i am. what is inside of me. i was thinking to myself, for me, finding true love is hard. now I am thinking, how about those models, those really pretty, gorgeous ladies out there?? hm..i guess, everyone have their own struggle. sometimes, i do really wonder, after so many confessions that i got, even if i met the real thing, will it make my heart skips abit faster? I pray, if one day, my "one" really shows up, i pray that i will know it and feels "rite", and May my God show me hints. (send me a cupid) ha.

You know, When the beast died just now, i cried. hm..after all, love story really touches my heart. Tale as old as time. true as it can be.( this song is so classic, stir rs up the lovey dovey feeling"

Love always protects

If you love someone, you will protect him or her from harm. This is what love is. 

Love is patient (never gives up, no matter how disappointing, how heart breaking it is).

gonna write down a few version from the bible, cause every version of it have a really good meaning of what LOVE is all about. actually, today I'm  feeling really unloved. Ha. maybe, too many guys around me that really wanna get close to me and take advantage of me. I am really wondering, what is love? I thought, my love language is touch. but i guess,because of all the unnecessary touching from those crazy people, sometimes i feel that the best way to love me is actually not touching me.

i really like this when it says Love, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. (1Cor 13:6 NKJV) Love never gives up. (1 Cor 13:1 MSG), doesn't force itself on others (1 Cor 13:5 MSG), takes pleasure in the flowering of truth. (1 Cor 13:6 MSG) puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks bac, but keeps going to the end. (1 Cor 13:7 MSG).这里应该是写海枯石烂吧。很棒哦。

在听 不同版本的"A pure heart" from Hillsong, 每一次听都有很不同的感动。应该是神吧。心里知道，人心的感动，尤其来自这种音乐，不是因为音乐特别感动，是因为神的爱。因为神让人有这份礼物，写出来之天国的音乐，天国之音。听见的人，会流泪，会感动，会因此心软了下来。音乐啊，就是一份礼物。

谢谢你上帝，虽然今天真的觉得很疲惫。身心疲惫吧。但是，因为你的爱，你没有放弃我。你没有因为我的软弱而舍弃我。知道这真理，就已经很足够了。

x希望再度这篇部落的你，也知道，人是不完美的，就算全世界不再爱你了。神还会爱你，不因为什么，只因为，神的大爱，无人能比。