Friday, October 21

My secret place

In this chaos and fallen down world. Is there a place you can go whenever you are hurt? Is there a place where you can find love when you are lost? Is there a place for you to hide when you are all wounded and hurt?

I have found my secret place, in Christ, in God alone. I have found my peace, my hope and salvation. Listening to this song when I am in SFO now, reminds me, how God have hide me under His wings, when i need a shelter. How God have look for me when i was lost in darkness. 
Secret Place by City Harvest Church
Lord of my life I love you
Lord of my days I trust in You
Living beneath the shelter of your wings
My heart's safe

When I am lost you find me
When I’m in need you shelter me
Lord of my life you are my secret place


Clothe me in your presence lord
Draw me near to you
All my heart I long to give to you
Living to be near you lord
I long to see your face
Lord forever you're my secret place


You're my peace
You're my rest
You're my se-cret place
 

十字路口

刚才在网上和小福聊天。回想起过去。小福说得一点也不错,因为十年前我的选择,改变了我十年后的生活。十年前,站在十字路口时,我做了一个选择。因为无知,因为七情六欲,因为爱情,因为禁果,因为执作,因为迷茫,因为害怕,因为方便。。一切一切的理由,变成了我十年的漫无目的,十年的荒废,十年的徘徊。也同一时间,十年前,小福作了一个决定,跟随上帝,把生命奉献了给神,也因为这样,命运改变了。。

我不停的哭泣,是因为我真不敢相信,以前的我竟然选择了人。。而不是神。神可以给的,是世上无双的,多么的完美无瑕。想起过去,我没有活出自己,完全不知道自己的身份,也不知道神的应许,也不会想到神为我准备的未来。每一天就是过着无头无脑的生活,每天就是吃喝玩乐,逛街,喝茶,吹水,看电视。。一直在玩。有是一个人时会想,这。。就是生命吗?生活就是这样而已吗?。。那么闷?。。要玩的我也玩过了。。要做的,也作了。。就这样而已吗?。

因为我那八年半的感情失败和背叛,我曾在地狱里活过了一阵子。想知道详情?改次得问我哦。地狱里。。没有欢笑,没有希望,只有黑暗,只有哭泣声,痛苦,呐喊,无助,心痛,心碎,糟蹋。。在哪里,我看不见自己,也看不到任何东西,仿佛全世界只有我。没有任何东西,声音,或生命。全部都是死人,死物,死气沉沉。那时,脑海里只想到一样东西。很痛苦,我只想了结着生命,我只想了结这痛和苦。死掉算了。

神就是那么的爱你,和我。他看见了我的泪水,心痛,绝望。他伸出了他的手,慢慢,慢慢的把我拉了起来。在地狱的低谷里,他牵住了我的手。。一直不放开。不放弃,慢慢的,耐心的,充满爱的把我救了出来。我感恩,我赞颂,我高声欢乐的呼喊!因为耶稣,因为上帝,我重新获的了新生命,新希望,新喜悦!我重生了。

我心里,有一个希望。希望,在读这部落的你。如果你也和我一样,活在恐惧和绝望里时,你不用再害怕了。神可以把你的一切改变,他很爱你。在黑暗中歇斯底里的呐喊吧,神他听见了。寻找他,因为只有他可以给你新希望。

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." 
Matthew 7:7